MC My roommates, Peach and Banana, think they're very clever and secretive when they discuss sharing their Jerk Tips throughout the world. Well, obviously, they're wrong, I wouldn't know how to come here and share my own Jerk Tips with you.
Today, my human - yes, that's right Banana and Peach, my human - came home with some fast food. She plopped down in our chair and turned on this cool sci-fi show we like to watch together. I hopped up in her lap and sat with her while she ate. When she finished eating, I decided to see if there was anything left over in her bag. I stretched my body out so that my back legs stayed in her lap and my front legs went on her table. I felt something cold on my side, and realized it was her soda. That's when I realized I could out-jerk the jerks. I pushed my body into that cup of soda and down it went! I did a real number on it, too. The lid broke in half, ice went flying across the room, the carpet was soaked. It was great. My person had to put me down, get off the phone, run for towels. She was so inconvenienced. It was hilarious.
Banana Oh, we have so much to teach you about being a jerk. So far, you suck at it.
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