Dear Peach,
I just heard the best story.
Before I was born, my person had a cat named Goose. I've heard stories about Goose before and was already a fan. He lived a long, happy life. He was 18 years old when he did pass in his sleep, snuggling in the bed with my person. From everything I've heard, it sounds like he had a great life and was delightfully spoiled.
One story in particular was just great. My person had had Goose for quite some time when she had that horrible idea to bring home that dog. Goose was not a fan of the dog. He was very standoffish and always managed to get all of my person's attention, as a cat should.
Since the dog has always been jealous of how great cats are and clearly wants to be one, he's always wanted to play with cats. Well, one day, the dog took his tennis ball to Goose and dropped it, trying to get Goose to play with him. Apparently, Goose just wasn't having that. He stood up, took a step forward, and then lay back down...with the ball concealed under his tummy. The dog whined, but Goose would not get up and let the dog have that ball back. Then my person made a mistake and sided with the dog instead of the correct party. She picked Goose up, gave him a big hug and a kiss, assured him he would always be extremely precious to her, all of which was right. Then, the wrong thing was: She gave the dog his ball back!
Hearing this story about Goose stealing the dog's ball has made up my mind once and for all: That cat is my hero. I now understand why my person keeps a framed photo of him in the living room. I'm sad I never got to meet him. I could have learned a lot from him.
Rest in Peace, Goose. I know my person loves and misses you every day.
Love,
Banana
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Licking Wounds
Dear Banana,
You know how sometimes you get hurt and the only way to take care of the hurt spot is to lick it? Well, I've discovered that my person does not like when I lick his wounds. In fact, he gets really upset. He yelled like it hurt or something, then put me on the floor.
Challenge accepted. I'm going to go at that wound like a deer on a salt lick.
Love,
Peach
You know how sometimes you get hurt and the only way to take care of the hurt spot is to lick it? Well, I've discovered that my person does not like when I lick his wounds. In fact, he gets really upset. He yelled like it hurt or something, then put me on the floor.
Challenge accepted. I'm going to go at that wound like a deer on a salt lick.
Love,
Peach
Monday, January 6, 2014
Ghost Cat!
Dear Peach (and Any Interlopers),
I was recently reminded of an hilarious story from some years back. My person and I were living in a house with a window in the bathroom, instead of this apartment. That bathroom was pretty cool. It had a great windowsill, next to and slightly above the toilet. It had a closet that opened into the hallway. The hallways side had these accordion fold doors, but inside the bathroom the door was just hung with simple hinges and it didn't latch, so it was really easy to open.
One day, my person had some friends over for dinner. I was just minding my own business, hanging out in my favorite windowsill, when one her friends had the gall to come into my bathroom. While I was chilling in my windowsill! I was hoping she was lost and just went into the wrong room, but no. She turned on the light, closed the door, and even sat down on the toilet! Well, that was far too much for me. I figured it was best to not only leave, but to teach that woman a lesson on my way out of the room. So, instead of jumping straight down the floor, I jumped on her shoulder, walked across her back, and then hopped down on the floor. Because she had closed the door, I decided to go out through the closet. It was slightly open, so I didn't have to bat it open. I just walked into it, and walked out through the door in the hallway, and off to my favorite secret hiding place. A minute later, I heard the strange girl screaming, "Roz, this cat just jumped out of the window onto my back, then disappeared into the closet! I think you have a ghost cat!"
Hahahahaha, what a chump.
Love,
Banana
I was recently reminded of an hilarious story from some years back. My person and I were living in a house with a window in the bathroom, instead of this apartment. That bathroom was pretty cool. It had a great windowsill, next to and slightly above the toilet. It had a closet that opened into the hallway. The hallways side had these accordion fold doors, but inside the bathroom the door was just hung with simple hinges and it didn't latch, so it was really easy to open.
One day, my person had some friends over for dinner. I was just minding my own business, hanging out in my favorite windowsill, when one her friends had the gall to come into my bathroom. While I was chilling in my windowsill! I was hoping she was lost and just went into the wrong room, but no. She turned on the light, closed the door, and even sat down on the toilet! Well, that was far too much for me. I figured it was best to not only leave, but to teach that woman a lesson on my way out of the room. So, instead of jumping straight down the floor, I jumped on her shoulder, walked across her back, and then hopped down on the floor. Because she had closed the door, I decided to go out through the closet. It was slightly open, so I didn't have to bat it open. I just walked into it, and walked out through the door in the hallway, and off to my favorite secret hiding place. A minute later, I heard the strange girl screaming, "Roz, this cat just jumped out of the window onto my back, then disappeared into the closet! I think you have a ghost cat!"
Hahahahaha, what a chump.
Love,
Banana
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Guest Contributer: Watermelon
Dear Banana and Peach,
Banana's person came over to my house today, and I hopped in her computer bag. It's just so appealing! I picked up your messages, and I have a story to share that I think you'll both enjoy.
I'm a big cat. I weigh about 20 pounds. I'm solid and I'm hard to move. This provides me the opportunity to play some great games. One of my favorite is trapping my person in bed. My dog, Pumpkin, will sleep on one side of our person, and I'll sleep on the other. We pin her down with her own blankets, hahaha. It's easier for her to move the dog than me, so I get a double-victory. I've trapped her and get the dog kicked out of the bed!
Probably my all time favorite game, though, is one I like to call soccer ball. As my person walks down the hall, I run up from behind her, get just in front of her, and then quickly turn sideways, so her foot collides with me. Sure it hurts a little bit, but it's hilarious and well worth it! Sometimes when I'm bored, I do this to her several times in a row, and she nudges me like a person dribbling a soccer ball. She gets frustrated and sometimes she even stumbles! I haven't made her actually fall yet, but some day, I think I'l manage.
Both of these are fun games, and I recommend playing them any time you get a chance.
Hope you don't mind my contribution.
Sincerely,
Watermelon
Banana's person came over to my house today, and I hopped in her computer bag. It's just so appealing! I picked up your messages, and I have a story to share that I think you'll both enjoy.
I'm a big cat. I weigh about 20 pounds. I'm solid and I'm hard to move. This provides me the opportunity to play some great games. One of my favorite is trapping my person in bed. My dog, Pumpkin, will sleep on one side of our person, and I'll sleep on the other. We pin her down with her own blankets, hahaha. It's easier for her to move the dog than me, so I get a double-victory. I've trapped her and get the dog kicked out of the bed!
Probably my all time favorite game, though, is one I like to call soccer ball. As my person walks down the hall, I run up from behind her, get just in front of her, and then quickly turn sideways, so her foot collides with me. Sure it hurts a little bit, but it's hilarious and well worth it! Sometimes when I'm bored, I do this to her several times in a row, and she nudges me like a person dribbling a soccer ball. She gets frustrated and sometimes she even stumbles! I haven't made her actually fall yet, but some day, I think I'l manage.
Both of these are fun games, and I recommend playing them any time you get a chance.
Hope you don't mind my contribution.
Sincerely,
Watermelon
Friday, January 3, 2014
Static Electricity is Cool
Dear Banana,
I've discovered the neatest thing ever! Static electricity. Wait until the house is really dry, then go rub up against your person. It makes a loud cracking noise, and my person gets really annoyed by it. It's fun.
Love,
Peach
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Peach,
Ah, yes. Static electricity is a great toy. My favorite use of it is when my person is just drifting off to sleep. I hop up on the bed with her, and rub my face against her face. Crack! Augh! Hahahahahaha, it's great fun!
Love,
Banana
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Banana,
Curses! My experiments with static electricity have been foiled. My jerk person went to his laundry room, got a dryer sheet, and petted me with it. It took all of the static away. I'm kind of sad now. I'll be busy plotting my next move...
Love,
Peach
I've discovered the neatest thing ever! Static electricity. Wait until the house is really dry, then go rub up against your person. It makes a loud cracking noise, and my person gets really annoyed by it. It's fun.
Love,
Peach
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Peach,
Ah, yes. Static electricity is a great toy. My favorite use of it is when my person is just drifting off to sleep. I hop up on the bed with her, and rub my face against her face. Crack! Augh! Hahahahahaha, it's great fun!
Love,
Banana
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Banana,
Curses! My experiments with static electricity have been foiled. My jerk person went to his laundry room, got a dryer sheet, and petted me with it. It took all of the static away. I'm kind of sad now. I'll be busy plotting my next move...
Love,
Peach
If I Fits, I Shits!
Dear Banana,
How was your Christmas? Mine was pretty sad. Your grandma human gave me some treats. That was nice. But something horrible happened.
I think it's important to know that one of my favorite things is sitting in strange boxes. My person will bring home a box and it takes me about ten seconds to get in the box. It's great. Well, our people have started laughing when I do this, pretending to make me talk and say "If I fits, I sits!" They're not very creative, so I think that's probably something they got off the internet.
Two days before Christmas, some people showed up at my house. And they stayed. For days. Nobody even asked me if it was okay. At first, it was pretty cool. They're nice people and they petted me a lot. I slept with them. "Mom" gave me canned food, which was awesome. The second day, however, things went horribly, horribly wrong. The people left for a little bit and then returned...with their cats. Cranberry and Quince. Cranberry's all right. She's tiny and skittish and was respectful of my space. Quince however... Quince just hopped up on my couch and snarled and hissed at me. The entire time. And demanded the attention of everyone else. In my house! What does she think she is, a dog?! That jerk.
"Mom" brought Cranberry and Quince's litter box over. Quince continued to be rude and trying to claim my space as her own. You're going to come into my house and be rude to me? I don't think so. So I taught them all a lesson. I walked right up to their litter box, hopped and showed them all that if I fits, I shits.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Peach
How was your Christmas? Mine was pretty sad. Your grandma human gave me some treats. That was nice. But something horrible happened.
I think it's important to know that one of my favorite things is sitting in strange boxes. My person will bring home a box and it takes me about ten seconds to get in the box. It's great. Well, our people have started laughing when I do this, pretending to make me talk and say "If I fits, I sits!" They're not very creative, so I think that's probably something they got off the internet.
Two days before Christmas, some people showed up at my house. And they stayed. For days. Nobody even asked me if it was okay. At first, it was pretty cool. They're nice people and they petted me a lot. I slept with them. "Mom" gave me canned food, which was awesome. The second day, however, things went horribly, horribly wrong. The people left for a little bit and then returned...with their cats. Cranberry and Quince. Cranberry's all right. She's tiny and skittish and was respectful of my space. Quince however... Quince just hopped up on my couch and snarled and hissed at me. The entire time. And demanded the attention of everyone else. In my house! What does she think she is, a dog?! That jerk.
"Mom" brought Cranberry and Quince's litter box over. Quince continued to be rude and trying to claim my space as her own. You're going to come into my house and be rude to me? I don't think so. So I taught them all a lesson. I walked right up to their litter box, hopped and showed them all that if I fits, I shits.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Peach
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