Munchin' on Some Hair

Dear Peach,

That litter box thing is hilarious. Good work with that! I can just picture your person, shaking his fist: "Peach! Blah blah blah!" Funny, funny stuff.

One of my favorite things to do is to chew on my person's hair. It tastes pretty bad, because, you know, it's human hair. I mean, at least cat hair tastes decent. Before I started chewing on her hair, I thought it was really weird that she poured water on her head to clean her hair, but after tasting it, I get why she doesn't lick herself clean. But it's worth it, because she gets so mad. For instance, she sits on the couch and writes on that stupid clicky box that takes attention away from me (I think she calls it the computer, but she also calls it a laptop, which is just wrong. Only I belong on top of her lap). I'll jump up on the back of the couch and grab a chunk of her hair in my mouth and just pull on it. She'll grab me and put me on the floor. I just keep doing it until she gives up and holds me, which is what she should be doing anyway. I've recently started chewing on her hair when she tries to sleep. That's even funnier. She gets really mad when I wake her up. And as a bonus, she'll give up, grab me, put me under the blankets, and hug me really tight. She's so stupid; she has no idea that I'm getting exactly what I want. People are so easy to trick!

Banana


Dear Banana,

I love hair chewing! My person has a beard! Next time you see him, you should climb up on his chest and take a bite of beard! It tastes a little better than regular human hair and he gets really mad. He yells "Ow!" a lot and tries to put me on the floor. Silly humans.

Peach